One thing that is critical for developing attraction with a woman that will lead to your eventual seduction success is learning how to build and nurture the sexual tension between you.

One thing that is critical for developing attraction with a woman that will lead to your eventual seduction success is learning how to build and nurture the sexual tension between you.

Remember that when you first begin to interact with a woman, unless she already has a strong initial attraction for you – sometimes known as “chemistry”, you are in a neutral zone with her. This is a place where she has yet to make up her mind as to whether you are interesting to her or not.

Now, you can choose to sift through dozens and dozens of women looking for the few that you have that instant “chemistry” with, but I find it much more practical to stimulate the woman’s attraction so that she has that chemistry right away, and then I can choose whether or not to act on my own attraction. It’s like getting a pre-approved loan and knowing you COULD go out and buy that new Porsche, but it’s YOUR choice.

This, guys, is what seduction is all about. Having your own choice as to whether a woman interests YOU or not, not the other way around.

Back to the Neutral Zone (and I’m not talking about that Star Trek term, either…)

In order to get that tension going – a necessary tension – you need to zap her out of her neutral funk and get her into feeling EXCITEMENT. There are many ways to do this:

1. Teasing – You find little areas of insecurity, and you play with them a little. This isn’t to belittle her or make her feel bad about herself, but to demonstrate your own confidence and security by showing that you’re aware of your own dominance as a man, and that you do not fear her. Teasing also lowers her guard a little so that you can reach that “real” part of her personality that she is cloaking with defensive behavior. (Sometimes called “tease to please”)

2. Humor – Humor takes the edge off your teasing (sometimes called cocky/funny). Women are dying to laugh. There are so many guys out there that have ZERO humor to them. They take everything too seriously, including women, which – honestly – creeps them out. Compare: A man with humor enjoys life, is relaxed enough to find the fun in everything, and shows that he has a sense of inner calm. A man without humor is not relaxed, takes things way too seriously, and tends to smother and convey insecurity with his intense behavior.

3. Contradiction – An independent, secure guy can express his own opinion (and he MUST). You should make it a point to contradict her opinion from time to time to demonstrate that you do not need her approval. He doesn’t do it to prove her wrong, but to state his own belief in clear terms. And this includes calling her on her bratty behavior, as well as taking control when the situation demands it. This may be the toughest behavior for most “nice guys” to adopt. And it will also sound radically contrary to what you’ve been brought up to believe by the media and your mom.

4. Detachment – Again, an independent, secure man does not NEED a woman (or other people, for that matter) for his approval. He can stand alone and separate of her opinion, and it doesn’t ruffle his feathers if she doesn’t like something he did or said. This means the ability to walk away, turn away, and otherwise disengage from a woman so that she understands he is not there to kiss her ass. Another way to show this is to allow for long pauses between contacts with a woman. Don’t email her right back. Don’t call her right back. A few days could easily pass for a guy who is overwhelmed with women, so why shouldn’t it be that way for you right now? Give her a chance to miss you. (Instead of wondering why you’re so desperate that you leave five messages every day.)

These are just some of the ways you can heighten the level of sexual tension between you and a woman.

Now, there are some guys out there that are afraid of raising this tension. I suspect this is partly because this kind of tension feels uncomfortable to them. It can often border on making her angry which is something that most guys are afraid to do. After all, you want her to LIKE you, right? How will making her potentially DISlike you help?

Well, it’s really about a push-pull effect. The idea is to induce a gentle tug-of-war with her that will get things started. When she thinks you’re going to pull, you give her slack, which throws her off balance. And that’s when you pull her back in. It’s just like fishing: Give her a little “line,” and see if she bites. When she does, you pull in a little. (Too much too quick and you yank the hook right back out.) Then you give her a little slack so she thinks she’s free, and the hook digs in a little more. Then you give it a little tug to pull her back in.

Push-pull. Reel her in, let her go.

The tension you are elevating has only one kind of outlet – sexual attraction. Sometimes it will even start out as anger and then morph into passion and lust. (Remember the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s apathy.)

You’re better off with a woman that is pissed at you than one that has no feelings for you. Your knee-jerk reaction to her anger is to smooth out the problem, afraid that you’ve somehow lost her. When you don’t NEED, you can’t LOSE.

Again, passion very often starts out with a woman APPEARING to hate the man at first.

(Review how this happens in the first Indiana Jones movie, as well as the movie “The Breakfast Club,” and especially the police station scene in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” Yes, they are movies, but they accurately depict how this phenomenon works. And if you’ll watch it closely, it may seem counter to what you might think, but at a gut level – it MAKES SENSE and feels right. This sort of thing happens all the time.)

Don’t be afraid of that tension, guys. Feed off it and escalate it. This will make the difference between the guy that walks away with the sweet taste of woman on his lips… or the bland and disappointing taste of her “friendship.”

It’s the most intimidating question a guy can ask a woman, and one that I get asked about regularly. It feels like such a risky proposition, putting yourself out there for a woman’s approval (or rejection.)

This has to be one of the questions I hear most frequently from guys.

Why?

It’s the most intimidating question a guy can ask a woman, and one that I get asked about regularly. It feels like such a risky proposition, putting yourself out there for a woman’s approval (or rejection.)

The answer to the riddle is this: STOP asking women out!

First of all, you’re starting a program in a woman’s head that says: “He’s romantically interested in me. That means dates, and awkward kisses, and possibly sex, and then a breakup like the last one. I better not.“

Second, by asking her out, you make a woman need to figure out if she’s attracted to you the moment you ask the question. She is presented with an opportunity which requires her to figure out her interest level in YOU.

You see, a woman doesn’t want to lead a man on, but she also rarely knows right away if there’s romantic interest. So she’ll say yes just to test you out. It’s like her first drive of a new car. She doesn’t want to be obligated to buy right off the bat. If you push her for an answer right away (which is how asking her out comes across to her) she’ll say No, even if she isn’t sure yet.

Most women are NOT attracted to you immediately unless it’s by your looks alone. If you rely on pure sex appeal to win you the one you want, you’ll be relying on “luck.” There’s a much better way.

Don’t move so fast on her. Be patient. (Oh, and another fringe benefit of not asking a woman out is that you can’t be rejected. Pretty cool, huh?)

Take a moment and think about which of these would be most interesting to a woman:

A) A meal and/or movie date that demonstrates no originality, and implies that she’ll have to be considering you romantically, and that there will be pressure for her to be “on,” and then after it’s all done, she’ll have to deal with your attempt to kiss her. Scary.

B) A chance to go out and have some fun, with no pressure.

Which one sounds better to you?

Now, if you’re still leaning towards Option A, think about which one sounds better to HER?

Does Option B sound better now? You better believe it does.

Now, it may not seem to have your interests in mind right away, but that’s not what winning a girl’s heart is about. It’s about forgetting what YOU want for long enough so that you can give her what SHE wants.

Let’s put it this way – would you invest $10,000 of your hard-earned money in a stock you’d never even heard of before? No way! You’d want to see what the company is about, check out the fundamentals. And THEN you might be willing to invest a few hundred or so.

That’s what it looks like to her – potentially BIG risk, and no guarantee of return.

There’s a saying: “You can have anything you want in this world if you just help enough other people get what they want.“

Also, Option B gives her a little MYSTERY about your intentions and your interest, and that is what a woman wants. Remember: hope + doubt = passion.

So now that you’ve figured out that you need to give her a lower investment option to start out with, how do you do it exactly?

Easy. If you’ve only just met her on the street, you should see if she’s got a minute for coffee or tea at the local coffee shop. Take the opportunity to build a little rapport and show her that you’re FUN. The rest will come later if you can demonstrate a laid-back, fun personality.

If she doesn’t have the time, you then shift into a lower gear and get her phone number and/or email address. After you put such a nice request out there for coffee and she turned you down, she’s more likely to agree to give you her contact information, and in most cases she will write it right down.

If she hesitates, which is very likely because you’re still essentially a stranger, then you need to reassure her by teasing her. That’s right, teasing her.

HER: “Sorry, I don’t give out my number.” YOU: “It’s okay, I’m only going to leave you a hundred messages on your machine. C’mon, write it down.” Make her feel a little silly that she doubts your integrity and character. Teasing makes her forget about her weird trust issues.

Hand her a pen and paper and don’t look her in the eye; just wait. The next person who speaks, loses.

Usually, she’ll write it down. You have to be willing to wait out that long, uncomfortable silence while she figures out if you’re a confident guy or a wimp. If you start talking and trying to reassure her of all the reasons she should feel okay about giving you her information, you’ve already lost.

Just act as if she could do nothing else, and she will do exactly what you want.

Once you have her contact information, you only need to get hold of her and invite her to complete the offer you originally made – tea or coffee at a certain local shop. It’s a low-investment, and it’s not too pushy or overtly “romantic” that she has to worry about where things have to go.

There is a point in this silly Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidman romance movie. You just have to watch carefully.

I got a membership to that DVD rental service where you get your selections mailed to you, and I’ve been watching a lot of movies, catching up on the classics. A lot of guy movies, like “The Dirty Dozen”, “Where Eagles Dare”, “The Majestic Seven”, and others.

I happened to put down “Far and Away” as a title, and it came up recently. Now, a lot of you are going to chuckle at that. A silly Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidman romance.

But, you know, it was actually pretty watchable.

Not incredibly deep as far as a story goes, but it was nice to watch. Well-produced. And there was something I noticed about it that you ought to look at. Tom Cruise makes both the “chump” error and the “champ” corrections in the course of the movie.

Let’s review them:

At first, Tom tells Nicole when she asks him if she’s beautiful that “he’s never seen anything like her“, she basically says, “Good” and turns away from him. You can see the look in his eyes as he’s saying to himself, “What the hell happened? I told her she was beautiful, and she rolled over and went to sleep. Isn’t that what she wanted?“

Classic mistake when dealing with beautiful women. Never compliment their beauty before you’ve got them hooked. It has ZERO affect.

Later, Tom is getting some booty attention from the women at the place where he fights, and from the whores that live in his boarding house. Nicole gets bratty and jealous, acting as if she’s pissed at him, but really she’s just wishing she could act on her attraction. This establishes Tom as desirable by other women, jacking up her attraction even further.

Later on, Tom gets in an argument with Nicole and he throws her in a tub full of water, putting her in her place. You can see the meek manner in which she realizes how she was acting like a bitch.

She’s the classical bratty beautiful woman, and Tom learns how to dominate her in the right way. All through the movie, in fact, she behaves in the classic mode of the spoiled beautiful woman who has had every man just fall at her feet.

Note how turned on she becomes when Tom fights – and especially when he fights for her.

Check this movie out sometime as part of your homework. You’ll find a bunch of classical behavior patterns in here to learn from.

The way we use our energy is indicative of our personalities and personal inclinations. How do women react to frustration?

Some of you may be familiar with some Eastern school of thought on how energies are used in the human body. Chinese philosophies refer to it as Chi, and the energy itself can have both female and male (Yin and Yang) “flavors” to it. The way we use our energy is indicative of our personalities and personal inclinations. Whatever you choose to call it, I think we all agree that this energy is very real, even if we’re not sure how to channel it.

Now, don’t worry, I’m not going off on a mystical California carpet ride with you. I’m just trying to highlight a concept with you that relates to dating.

I was having a talk with a fellow webmaster, and we were discussing how men and women channel their energies in their lives. Think about how you use your own creative energy, or your physical energy. We sometimes put it into our exercise, such as Triathlons and weightlifting. Or, you may be like me, a frustrated writer that needs to pour his mind out on paper as a form of mental therapy.

What about sexual energy? Now, any guy that’s spent a couple weeks abstinent knows what I mean by this kind of energy, and you damn well know it’s real, too. There are days of sexual frustration where you wake up and shut off your alarm with a roundhouse kick, and then you go to work and belt out about thirty pages of spreadsheets, upgrade the workstations on five floors, and it’s not even 7:30 in the morning.

For a woman, sexual energy is less about immediate and direct gratification. Most of the women I have known never get “horny” the way a guy will. Sure, some do, but it’s only after they’ve broken down some of their trust barriers with a man and can feel safe and secure about putting her more primal physical desires out there.

Now, think about frustration for a guy. When a guy gets frustrated from his goal, what happens? When you find yourself thwarted at every turn, what emotion begins to rear its head?

You get angry.

Men are hardwired by the testosterone in their bloodstream to feel aggression when they are held back from their desires. They get pissed, and then they are prone to get very aggressive. Now, luckily for modern civilization, we don’t always act on this feeling, but if you look around you I think you’ll agree that we still let that frustration find its natural outlet. I get frustrated at certain things in my life, and I’ll feel the old Incredible Hulk syndrome start to kick in. (Even if I can’t shred my shirt and kick as much ass as the Hulk can.)

How do women react to frustration?

Have you ever watched a woman when she gets flustered and teased? Have you seen how she behaves? I’ll be honest, it’s almost embarrassingly primitive and childish.

First, the women gets excited. It even looks amazingly like anger, but it’s not. It’s a delicious cocktail of thrilling and emotional energy.

Then, the woman gets TURNED ON.

She doesn’t even realize it, but it’s there. You see, women have an entirely different reaction and outlet for their frustration, and it’s not like our male aggressive behavior. It’s a form of FEMALE aggression, called sexual excitement. She can’t get rid of the energy any other way.

Remember this. It’s why women respond to the Tease to Please so strongly. It’s why they respond to our challenges the way they do. And it’s the secret for leading her into attraction for you.

At first, you may reject this as being too simplistic and cliche, but if you look behind the Hollywood smoke screen, you’ll see that this is what she’s looking for. This is what many women respond to, and it’s a critical step in your building up mystery and challenge in her eyes.

They are saying that it’s ok that a woman sees more than a single guy. But when a guy dates more than a single woman he’s bad boy. Double standards or what!?

I was sent an “article” (I use quotes because the value of this information is in doubt) about men who “step out” on their women.

Step out. You gotta love these old terms that journalists keep using because they evoke emotional pictures in your mind.

The woman’s question to this – (COUGH) – “advisor” was “I don’t know why, but I keep attracting jerks.“

Now this advisor is a “VP of Romance” (Yeah, right) of a very popular online dating site. (And since we all know that men don’t know anything about “romance,” this advisor is a woman.)

She proceeds to describe bad boys and why women are attracted to them, because they are “philanderers and con artists.“

Wow, strong words.

Well, I cover this in my e-books, along with the breakdown of the “bad boy” and how you can use the good parts of his personality. Her use of the term “con artist” is out of bitterness. Some “bad boys” are just plain criminals that women fall for because they lack the self-esteem to hold to a higher standard. Bad Boys are not necessarily those penitentiary romances, folks.

Bad boys are men that have the right combination of qualities to make them interesting to women, but some character flaws that make them unsuitable for a long-term commitment. These guys are like ecstasy for women primarily because there are so many guys that BORE the hell out of them.

Bad boys attract women because they have all the right confidence traits that women genuinely desire. The downside is that many of these bad boys are genuinely assholes.

I believe that most guys out there are good at heart. We want a good woman that won’t nag or control us (and they don’t WANT to do this, but most guys let them, so they oblige.)

If we find a truly amazing woman with her sh*t together, we know we’d gladly trade in the case of Trojans for a more established “relationship.” And I hear about these all the time from guys who find her, but then proceed to get obsessed with her and scare her off.

This is why I always tell you to D.O.W. – Date Other Women!

It keeps your perspective, allowing you to not scare off the really worthwhile woman when you meet her. It keeps you from doing all the crazy obsessive things that push them away and ruin their attraction.

In this article, this writer then finishes up by saying: “While you’re working on all this, don’t stop dating. But do be a little choosier. … Resist the temptation to jump right into a relationship with the first decent guy you meet, however.“

Huh? So if a guy dates around, he’s a philanderer. He’s a bad-boy and not desirable. But she’s saying it’s okay for a woman to date several men and that makes her “choosy.”

WTF???

Welcome to the Double Standard that NO ONE talks about. It’s okay for women to date a lot of guys and be choosy, because MEN are the ones to be watched out for, but a man has to woo her and romance ONLY her to see if he passes her tests for true love.

Puh-lease.

I smell what you’re cookin’, honey, and I’m leaving the kitchen.

While I’ll agree that there are guys out there who do fit the role of the man who “sleeps around” on women, he’s pretty darn rare in this day and age. And getting rarer every day thanks to our cultural awareness and a society of men that are now afraid of date-rape charges, sexual harassment lawsuits, and getting their balls cut off at the root in the new dating world.

It’s only one guy in twenty that knows how to stay cool without getting giggly around a really attractive woman. And one in ten of those guys is even capable of the “player” lifestyle.

Think about it: How many guys do you know that you could honestly call “players”? And how many are really “bad boys”?

In reality, these terms are thrown around as labels for guys after the fact. If she couldn’t keep him interested, he becomes a “player.” If all her girlfriends thought he was hot and knew he wouldn’t stick around, he was also a “bad boy.”

Most guys I’ve seen out there who DO have the skill and qualities to date many women are:

1) Up front that they’re not looking to settle down with one woman yet (which makes most women want to date and tame him even MORE), and

2) if a woman is lucky enough to find one of them, she KNOWS what she’s getting into here. She’s just happy to have found a guy who doesn’t try to propose or pledge his undying love on the second date.

It’s time to realize that you’re grown ups, ladies. You’re adults. We’re all responsible for our actions. Nobody made you go crazy over that guy you KNEW wasn’t going to be a long-term commitment. He didn’t manipulate or trick you. You jumped in like a nine-year-old kid doing a cannonball dive in the deep end of a pool.

There’s a saying: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on ME.

Gentlemen, I’m not into Female Bashing, I’m into MALE EMPOWERMENT. I tell you the things you need to hear and understand to feel good about being a MAN again. This world we’re in has suddenly made it unfashionable to have an XY chromosome.

Being a man is cool, Beavis… it absolutely ROCKS. And I know that the best thing is to LOVE women for who they are WITHOUT hating that I’m a red blooded MAN.

Love the smell of women, their crazy tests and head games, and love their soft squishy parts. But be sure you love the fact that women still want and need real MEN.

In this month’s Playboy, Christina Applegate says: “What if we had a bunch of guys trying to be more feminine to fit in with us? We like the maleness of men – the take-charge, take-care-of-everything attitude.“

Damn straight.

So here’s the deal: While it’s generally accepted that women can date around and be more “choosy,” men have to deal with the universal stigma that they are expected to date only one woman. And, if by some stroke of fate, if you happen to have the abilities and skills to attract more than one woman, you might get labeled “bad boy.”

But women will love you anyway, no matter what the label is.

Face it: Women like “bad boys” because they know how to make women happy. Women will take the chance that he might not stay with them for the fun they give them in return. They’re REAL men.

Women also love bad boys because OTHER WOMEN love bad boys! Always remember that women want what other women want.

Lately I’ve been working on collecting some of my random thoughts and ideas together so that I can put them into the skeleton of a new program for men on inner game and unstoppable confidence.
One of the things that guys are asking more about – and it’s something that I’m all too happy to talk about – is the subject of relationships.
(Gasp from the crowd…)
Yes, despite all that you see on TV and hear from women out there, men really do want relationships.
And with ONE woman.
We want the power to have many women, but in the end, every man just wants one quality woman in his life.
There are a few mistakes guys make along the way, though, that keep them from getting a relationship they can fully commit to. (Yes, I know I used the “c” word there.)
I just want to talk about one of the biggest mistakes in this newsletter, and maybe I’ll cover the rest in future reports.
So what is this big mistake men make?
And – more importantly – how can you avoid making this mistake?
The mistake is simply one word:
SETTLING.
That’s right. As in “settle down.”
You see, “settling” is not a good way to view this. Guys look at it this way, because we’re trying to radically reduce the amount of drama in our lives. Guys just want things smooth and calm.
Settling – as it pertains to women and lifestyle – is defined as:
“Adopting a more steady or secure style of life.”
That sounds very nice, but the reality is that “steadiness and security” is what we seek when we’re trying to make things low-intensity.
Relationships, in order to last, must have some intensity to them. Excitement…
You ever seen a couple that has lost that “intensity”? They end up a bit… well, they end up boring. You’d swear they were brother and sister.
They start dressing and acting alike.
And often they start to look alike.
They seem like activity partners rather than the jumpy horn-dogs they ought to be. They stay up to watch Letterman’s monologue, and then it’s off to bed…
Routine.
Well, this is the kind of relationship a lot of guys get into mostly because they want to stop “playing the field” and they want to “settle down.”
But what “settle down” really means is this:
Lock in some woman that you can comfortably keep around. A woman who will simply “settle” with you.
Let’s be realistic here. You don’t want a woman that’s going to drive you nuts with the level of intensity and drama that just gets your ulcers burning like a hot coal in the pit of your stomach.
On the other hand, you don’t want a woman who won’t challenge you and inspire you to grow and become a better person. Because that, my fellow Alpha Brothers, is what relationships are all about.
Not about dooming yourself into a 50 year relationship…
Not about “locking one in…”
But about being all you can be through the challenge of a close, intimate relationship.
You see, you’ll learn more about yourself in the context of a long-term relationship than you ever will in a series of “pickups” or one night stands.
So how do you avoid this trap of getting into a relationship – and then staying there – only because it’s less painful than being single?
Let me lay out the steps for you. These are the tried and true strategies I’ve used for years now, and they’re VERY effective.

Step One: Date as many women as you can…
That’s right. The best thing you can do as research for a long-term relationship – as you develop your dating skills – is to date a LOT of women.
You’ve probably heard me say this a million times, but it can’t be repeated too much. You simply MUST date other women. You don’t want to jump into a relationship just because you have nothing better going on.
You go into a relationship because that’s the next logical step on the path that you’re on.
You never want to feel like women are scarce, and that you must grab one up and marry her just because you think you might end up old and alone.

Step Two: Figure out what you’re looking for in a relationship along the way.
The one thing most people never do is look at their past mistakes and re-examine their true motives for getting into a relationship in the first place.
A relationship is something that should be a CHOICE, not something you fall into because you don’t want to be alone, or you’re afraid of hurting the woman.
This is a really common pattern I used to get into with women. It would start with a phone call to ask her out to do something, and the next thing you know, we’re in bed.
Wow, I said to myself. Now what? Oh, okay, I guess we’re boyfriend and girlfriend now.
It was just easier than admitting to myself that this wasn’t what I was looking for. I was also feeling guilty that I had slept with this woman, and now she’s going to want a relationship.
(You’ll find that this is bad programming that a lot of guys have, and I talk about this at length in the Dating Black Book…)
Getting into a lot of short term relationships helps you figure out what you want a long term relationship to do for you.

Step Three: Figure out what you’re looking for in a woman along the way
You won’t know this up front, and that’s why I made this step 3. You have to date a whole bunch of women to figure out what it is that you actually want from her when you find her.
I’ll tell you this – one of the biggest mistakes I see guys make (and it’s one I’ve made so many times over the years) is that they want to date only one specific physical type, and no other.
In other words, they’re all hung up on the “librarian” type, or the “stripper” type, or the “rocker” type.
Sometimes it’s an appearance thing, too, like dating only blondes, or women with short hair.
I can tell you from experience that the woman you click with will probably NOT be the type you expect. In fact, the one thing that holds guys back from much faster success in finding the right kind of woman is often sticking too close to their “type.”
I always liked the short, gymnast type. You know, small tight body. Short hair.
I’m currently dating a tall, leggy Asian girl.
Go figure.
I also thought I’d enjoy a woman that was a firecracker – full of energy and sarcastic challenge.
Nope.
That turned out to annoy the hell out of me after a while. These women very often weren’t in touch with their femininity and that made it nearly impossible to have a healthy dynamic with her.
The point is that if you don’t date all types, you’ll fall into some predictable – and sometimes hazardous – patterns of behavior, because you’ll only be tuning your relationship skills to one kind of woman. And that kind of woman might not really be compatible with YOU.
So use this “dating around” time to really get a sense of what kind of woman you are capable of hanging with.
Avoid the dreaded mistake of “settling” for a woman. Instead, find a woman that you would dream of having, and then do the necessary research and field work (can you call this work?).
As I like to say, you should only be in a relationship with a woman who brings out the best in you.
There is no more important decision you will make in your life than which woman you will make your partner.
Stay Alpha…

You may or may not recognize that as the title of one of Motley
Crue’s latest songs.
(I’m a relic of the heavy metal days when bands were rowdy and
trashed hotel rooms, so I had to grab their album…)
Well, I was listening to the lyrics to this song, and I thought that
this is the perception that some guys have of women when they don’t
know how to handle her natural feminine force.
Oh, yeah. Just like Darth and Obi Wan, women have a very powerful
‘force’ all of their own.
It’s their FEMININITY.
You know it.
You’ve felt it when they walk by you in those short-short jean
shorts and that thin little T-shirt that says: “Girls Rule” on it.
Just a moment of shared eye contact and you feel your solar plexus
tighten up like a drum…
Yowza…
Hit me with some more of THAT….!
Just sitting here and thinking about that kind of feeling makes me
smile, because it’s something I’ve experience a thousand times, and
I know YOU have, too.
It’s the best kind of feeling, but unfortunately, it does nothing
for our confidence and ability to manage the women in our life.
Let’s be clear here…
The only chicks that = trouble are the ones that you LET run wild
in the playground of your life.
I’ll admit that back when I didn’t have a lot of ability to handle
the crazy crap that girls sometimes throw at you, I had a lot of
troubles. But I found out later that these same women could be as
tame as kittens when they were around men who knew their MASCULINE
power.
Oh, yeah. Just like Darth and Obi Wan, men have a more powerful
force all of our own.
It’s our MASCULINITY.
For some people, that word has managed to sound almost negative
lately. Don’t be fooled.
Being a man has never been more important.
So back to that song…
Do chicks really = trouble?
Only if you cannot be the leader – the Alpha Man – who knows how to
manage her energy with your own energy.
You ever been out at a bar and a group of women are together, and
one of them hears a song the DJ puts on, and she screams: “Ohmigod!
Ohmigod! I sooooo requested this! Come on, we have to go dance!”
And she promptly yanks your girl away from right in front of you to
go up on the dance floor…
Some guys call this “cockblocking,” but it’s really just girls
being girls.
And it’s annoying as hell when it happens, isn’t it? You feel
abandoned. Like the rug was just pulled out from under you.
You know what I do when this happens to me?
I just invite myself out with them on the dance floor, making sure
to keep my target in my sights, while still getting all funky and
dancing with the whole group.
AND I make sure that I’m having more fun than anybody in that group
in the process.
You see, most guys either go out on the dance floor against their
will, or they just follow-along to avoid being abandoned.
Or, they simply don’t do ANYTHING. They wait around until the group
gets tired and comes back with their new drinks…
…and 3 new guys they met while bumping and grinding on the dance
floor.
Ah yes. Crazy times.
You see, in a bar or club, or just on the street corner, the person
who has the strongest reality will be the leader of the situation.
The person that’s most convinced of their own value will rule.
That better be YOU, or the woman will simply never get very
attracted to you.
Think back to the guys you see leaving bars with chicks on their
arm…
Yup. They’re the guys that are most in control of the situation,
leading the women, and having MORE fun than most of the people
they’re with.
But if your headspace is filled with more concerns and worries than
it is with fun, chances are you won’t do too well. You’ll give off
the vibe of the “needy” guy, and women can pick up on this.
And that’s why I’m here to tell you – once again – that chicks do
NOT equal trouble if you’re the one in control of the situation.
Not being a dick and controlling things, but just knowing that no
matter what happens, you’re the guy with the plan and the path to
fun.
The chorus in that Motley Crue song goes: “They’ll kick you when
you’re down in the ditch…”
Which is completely untrue.
IF you’re a guy who can sniff out the drunk, obnoxious girls.
And keep your ass out of the ditch!
But let me put something to you…
Wouldn’t it make sense to go find the QUALITY women that are out
there?
These are the classy gals that are all over the place, but they
don’t really go to the bars or clubs.

• She might be reading a magazine in the local bookstore…
• She might be in front of you in the line at Starbucks…
• She might be on her cell phone on a street corner…
• She might be in the produce section of your grocery store…
• She could be anywhere in the other 96% of your life that you don’t
  spend in bars.

And every time you see her, you just wished you knew what to say to
her to start a conversation with her…
Well now you can find out.
All you have to do is learn how to use your “Day Game.”
This skill is called “Day Game,” because you don’t have to do be in a bar
or club at night to do it.
What it’s really about is approaching women ANYTIME and ANYPLACE you want to meet women.
I believe this is the strongest strategy for meeting women because
it doesn’t depend on special rules to get you into a conversation
with a woman.
And you see women all day long – everywhere you go…
Imagine if you could just walk up and meet any attractive woman you
see, and never have that feeling of tension and anxiety in your
gut…
No more “Approach Anxiety…”
What would that do for your confidence?
How many more dates would you have?
What would that do for your love life?
All I can tell you is that when guys see these skills put to use,
they are envious of the guys that have them.
THAT is what living the Alpha Lifestyle is about. Creating the
kind of life that other men would envy – and that other women
want to be a part of.

Jude Law movie “Alfie” analyzed. What you SHOULD know!

I happened to watch the Jude Law movie “Alfie” the other night.

While I can’t recommend it based on its merits as a movie (especially if you have as little time as I do), I found the message in it to be very disturbing and worth noting.

Basically, the film is about a young British guy (good looking, of course) who is a limo driver in New York City. He’s a ladies man, and pulls action all the time. Over the course of the movie, you see his cocky and confident facade pulled down by a series of events that make him re-think his approach to life and women.

Now, on the surface, this seems like the standard cautionary tale about not using people and thinking of other people’s feelings. After all, Alfie is just using these poor women and being a real jerk.

But wait a minute here… IS he?

He actually is very straightforward about his intentions from the start. He explains that he doesn’t want to stick with one woman. He doesn’t mistreat any of his ladies, and they all enjoy his company. And while these women all act hurt from time to time about the fact that Alfie isn’t likely to settle down with any of them, they all knew the deal from the beginning.

The danger that this movie presents is that it portrays these women as helpless victims, women who we are supposed to believe were tricked into Alfie’s bed under false pretenses.

The one that stands out is his friend’s girlfriend who actually comes on to HIM and they get jiggy on the pool table at her bar. Now, some bad things happen because of this get-together, but again, she knew what she was doing – and WANTED to do it.

Here’s the dangerous and incorrect message that the movie tries to get you to believe: “Women are helpless creatures who can’t make their own decisions, and the man that seduces them is a BAD person.“

Oh, and one more related message is underneath that one: “Guys who seduce or sleep with more than one woman, OR who don’t want to be tied down, are JERKS.“

And one more that’s even more disturbing: “Women aren’t responsible for their decisions.“

This is the dangerous message that the media is trying to perpetuate on you. It’s dangerous for men and women. And, quite honestly, it’s more insulting to women if you look at it in the right light.

Every one of the women in that movie knew what she was doing. It’s not the man’s responsibility to sit her down and have her sign a disclosure before she sleeps with him so that she acknowledges the reality of what she’s getting into.

The real truth is that women often put on romantic blinders when dealing with men. (Men even do this.) We see and believe what we WANT to so that we can DO what we want to.

Unless you have a gun held to your head, you CHOOSE to do everything that you do. No one is pulling your strings.

Unless you are outright lying and being deceitful with a person, they are making the choices that they WANT to make.

Don’t believe this garbage that men are the cads and womanizers. Women – and men – everywhere need more guys like Alfie to demonstrate the real Alpha Man traits that are sorely lacking in our world today.

Sometimes all a woman wants is a guy she can have a good time with, no matter how long it lasts.

And if you asked her how she felt about most of the guys she’s had her “fun” with, she’d probably tell you she’d gladly do it all over again, knowing exactly how it would have to end.

Let’s start right off by saying that “Alpha” behavior is NOT bad.

There are a lot of guys out there sending conflicting information regarding what it is and isn’t to be “Alpha.” As in “Alpha Man” or “Alpha Male.”

Let’s start right off by saying that “Alpha” behavior is NOT bad.

It is NOT what you see animals doing in their nasty time in the zoo. It’s NOT attacking a tribe and killing all the young, or any weird stuff like that.

Look, “Alpha” just means the dominant male (and sometimes the female) in a group.

It’s the one that is most likely to procreate and get its genes into the next round of the “Keep the species alive” game.

So it really does make sense to get successful with women if you think about it like this. If you don’t find a woman to mate with and create little teeny versions of you, then it all ends with you.

Do you deserve to have your genetic legacy carried on into the next generation? I hope so. And more importantly, I hope you believe so.

So don’t listen to a lot of this garbage and double speak out there regarding “Alpha Men” and what they should or should not be.

Here are a few things an Alpha IS:

• Clever/smart/cunning
• Ambitious
• Excited
• Honorable
• Dominant (not aggressive, but demonstrating superior social skills)
• Stable
• Fit (healthy lifestyle)
• Curious
• Balanced
• Natural

Here are a few things an Alpha is NOT:

• Aggressive
• Angry at women
• Verbally abusive
• Arrogant
• Obnoxious

There seems to be some confusion (and most of it is created by other guys hoping to cash in on your confusion) about what it means to be a STRONG and persuasive man in today’s society.

I’m not even going to throw you more of that evolutionary stuff because it really doesn’t matter. When you think about it, it just makes sense that we want people who appear or demonstrate more social value than us. It’s because we naturally want to latch on to their power.

Again, it all comes back to power.

So being an “Alpha” doesn’t mean you’re dragging women back to a cave. Or that you’re being an aggressive, pushy jerk. Or that you’re being forceful and mean. Or that you’re inconsiderate. Or that you’re acting like a brutish animal.

It means that you understand the basic primal reasons a woman is attracted to a man, and you’re not afraid to BE a man. Not a cardboard, one-dimensional wimp that’s afraid to let women know he desires them.

You see, there are only two motivating forces in life: Desire and Fear.

That’s it. We are motivated purely by what we feel we WANT, and what we feel we most want to avoid.

Fear is a stronger motivator for humans because it helped us survive potentially life-threatening situations. You’re smart to fear wild animals, or large trains heading toward you. You can’t afford the luxury of analysis in these situations. A delay could cost you your life.

On the other hand, in our modern society, there isn’t much you need to fear. In fact, we fear too much already.

And the fear that is most crippling is the fear of LOSS.

Everyone’s favorite short green dude, Yoda, even said it in the latest Star Wars flick… “Fear of loss leads to the dark side.“

And so it does. It leads you down a path where you never gain because you’re too afraid of losing what you have.

An Alpha Man understands that the only way to live is to wake up each day and understand that everything you have was just given back to you today. And when he goes to sleep at night, he gives it all back.

Lose this attraction to your possessions before they possess you…

Whoah, I’m getting very philosophical here.

What I’m trying to get across to you here is that you should avoid becoming attached, even to TERMINOLOGY.

When someone tells you that being an Alpha is bad, or it’s this and that, remember that they’re trying to color your perception. They’re trying to steer you away from a path of understanding and enlightenment.

Trust your own intelligence to figure out what an Alpha Man REALLY is.

He’s already inside of you. It just takes a little work to let this instinct out so that you can become the COMPLETE you.

There are a lot of guys out there who haven’t been able to open themselves up to letting out this TRUE nature inside them. They hide it behind “Politically Correct” BS about not hurting other people’s feelings, or being sensitive.

It’s really a fear to let other people see the REAL you. The man that wants to achieve. The man that wants women in his life. The man that wants monetary success. The man that wants power over the forces of life that seem to control him.

Forget about all this “Alpha” talk and just open your mind up to finding this part of you that isn’t held back by fear, and is ready to reach out for understanding that could – and will – change your life for the better.

So on one hand we have the lowly AFC, or non-Alpha. He’s a little insecure, possibly low self-esteem, but WANTS to grow and change.

On the other hand we have the Alpha, the confident and assertive man with healthy communication and self-esteem.

There is only one direction of growth here, and it’s from the AFC to the Alpha. And what is the Alpha? He’s a MODEL.

He’s what YOU need to be.